Para sa mga nagpapakatangang martir... tulad ko

I know you guys read this already... I just wanted to repost it... and hurt people like me... until we finally realise that we are worth more than what we bargain for... let's not sell ourselves short... We deserve to love... AND BE LOVED BACK!!!


I was beginning to regret having worn my favorite red off-shoulder
blouse
and pleated skirt inside the movie house because I was shivering in the
cold. But I took the huge risk because I knew perfectly how my favorite
pair of clothing will impress my boyfriend. He loved it whenever I
showed
a little more skin but if and only if he was with me. I love how he
compliments me - he never fails to make me feel as if I was the most
beautiful woman on earth.

The movie hasn't begun, and the cold was already enveloping us. We
found
good premiere seats. His hand was holding mine. The feeling of having
him
all to myself in the dark tickled me. It didn't occur to me that he was
smelling the side of my neck as he murmured, Bango naman ng Baby ko?I
love
you! Another smile curled my lips. Wala bang I love you too? He
teased.
So I answered back, I love you too, Baby.

After a few subtle kisses on the cheek, his cellphone beeped. He
quickly
checked who it was and buried his eyes on the message. I saw him reply
to
the text as if he was being chased after. Uy, bili ako ng food gusto
mo?
Kelangan ko narin kasing mag-load, may kelangan akong reply-an. Limang
piso nalang yata laman nito! He whispered La akong bulsa, By. Hawakan
mo
muna 'tong cell, baka mawala ko lang. You know how careless I am. I
nodded and kept the phone safely in my hands. He slightly pinched my
cheek, said I love you again under his breath, and took off.

The movie still hasn't started. I closed my eyes and gave a hearty
yawn.
I almost fell asleep when I felt his phone vibrate violently. The name
Michelle was blinking. Who's Michelle? I thought to myself. Even
before I
could press accept, the phone stopped vibrating and displayed 1 missed
call. The message icon was also blinking - meaning Michael's inbox was
full. I had to delete old messages to pave way for incoming texts. So
I
did. Five messages came in immediately, all of which were from
"Michelle."
Without hesitation, I opened them one by one.

Ha?! Anong wg muna ako text? Kelangan natin mgusap ngyn na! Nsan kb kc?

Can I text you na?

Text moko if coast is clear.

R u still with her?

I felt my heart do a somersault in complete confusion. What did the
messages mean? Who was that HER Michael was still with? I felt cold
sweat
forming around my forehead and nose. I took a deep breath. So I
pretended
to be Michael and replied casually to the text messages. She replied in
a
matter of seconds.

O, baket ka ba text ng text? May problema ba? Musta?

Hi Mike!!! Ano ng balita sayo? Baket ngayon ka lang nagreply? Kanina
pako
nagpaparamdam! Kasama mo pa ba si Shayne?

I thought I was just stabbed right in the chest when I saw my name in
Michelle's text message, but I continued replying with Michael's phone.

Oo, bumili lang ako ng food. Iniwan ko si Shayne sa loob ng sinehan.
Baket
ba kasi?

Di mo pa kasi iwan yang babaeng yan eh hihihi! Love, tuloy ba tayo
bukas?

Ah? Ewan ko, ikaw ang bahala. San ba tayo bukas?

Diba sabi mo pupunta tayo ng Laguna?

Ako nagsabi nun? Ah oo nga pala, I promised you that. Eh ano bang plano
mo?

Ano? Ikaw nga ang nagplano eh! Baket parang binabalik mo sakin ang
tanong?
Nakalimutan mo na ba? 4 months na tayo bukas! Dapat astig ang
out-of-town
natin! Swimming tayo siguro tapos dinner? Alam mo na siguro ang ibig
kong
sabihin, love!

I lay motionless. The movie began. I felt my head spin violently - my
vision was now blurred because of the big teardrops gathering in my
eyes.
But I blinked them away and replied as fast as I could. I knew Michael
was
on his way back to the cinema any minute now.

Oo sige na basta sabihin mo yun ang gagawin natin! Ang bilis ng panahon
noh
4 months na tayo. Parang kelan lang? O sige pano ba ang plano bukas?
Sabihin mo sakin ang nasa isip mo HONEY

Hmmm?. Basta bring your car nalang! Tawagan moko sa bahay tonight so we
can
talk ha? Love you lots! Mwah mwah! (smiley face)

I tried to reply I love you too, but the phone displayed Check Operator
Services.

The whole world must've stopped before my very eyes. There was nothing
more I could feel except for the tears rolling down my cheeks and the
freeze that was now killing me inch by inch. I stared at the big screen
while my thoughts drifted away? I couldn't find the right words to
describe
how I felt that moment. Images of another girl and my Baby deeply in
love
with each other flashed in my head.

And all this time, I was sharing Michael with someone else? That all
this
time, there was another woman whom he had his right arm around? The
tears
were all coming out now. I know people around me were already staring,
but
I was no longer thinking rational. Emptiness devoured me that instant?

From a distance I noticed a familiar face walking up the stairs towards
my
seat. I cleared my throat, cleaned my face, and took several deep
breaths.
Michael was on his way to our seats at the center bunk.

I love you, Baby! Michael kissed me on the nose. Sensha na! Tagal ko
noh!
Dami kasi nakapila dun sa binilhan ko Sensha na, sensha na? He put down
the
plastic bags and held my hand tight. He kissed me softly on the lips
and
whispered passionately, I love you Shayne! I love you Baby ko?

I didn't have the strength to answer back.

He went on. Oo nga pala, simula bukas, may fieldwork kami. Baka next
week
na ang balik ko. Hindi ko pa sure kung saan yung site, so baka walang
signal dun. But I'll try texting you whenever I can, ok? I love you,
Baby
ko!

I wanted to shout at him, scream at the top of my lungs, but no sound
came
out. I couldn't make myself say anything. I turned mute? my body was
as
numb as ever.

O? Wala na naman bang I love you too dyan? Dapat lagi kang nag-I-I
love
you too! He laughed.

I felt something vibrating on my lap again. It was Michael's phone -
another text message. Michael saw it blinking and immediately read the
message at a distance. But I was able to read what it said:

Kelan ka pa natuto mgtext in small letters? (smiley face) tsaka baket
honey
na ang twag mo sakin? Hindi na ba love? Bago na ba? (smiley face)

There was a long, long awkward pause. I thought the world has just
stopped
revolving.

My lips were sealed and the tears were already flowing freely - I could
no
longer control them. Michael looked straight at me, with his jaw half
open. His eyes were round and bigger than usual, full of questions and
fear. We just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. I felt
the
whole world sink and disappear, leaving only the two of us alone in the
dark.

After a few seconds of silence that felt like forever, I swallowed the
big
lump in my throat with all my strength and bitterly whispered...

I love you too, Baby ko...

...ako na to, he he he. Believe it or not, it goes both ways... lalaki at babae... parehong pwedeng manloko.

Should we settle for someone we love, pero questionable naman ang pagmamahal sa atin... or look for the one who'll love us as strongly as we do... pero do it in a lifetime??? Is it worth the wait??? Or us loving someone without asking anything in return enough? Isn't there a HANGGANAN for unconditional love??? SUMAGOT KAYO!!!